The Price Of Quitting The Game

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The Price Of Quitting The Game

Postby bels » Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:12 pm

  • All is suffering (dukkha).
  • Suffering is caused by desire/attachment.
  • If one can eliminate desire/attachment, one can eliminate suffering.
  • The Noble Eight-fold Path can eliminate desire. Extremes of excessive self-indulgence (hedonism) and excessive self-mortification should be avoided.


There are no holes in your wardrobe that need filling; It is as finished now as it ever will be.
You are not refusing to buy new stuff as a punishment, you are refusing to buy stuff because you don't need new stuff.
You don't need to buy any Uniqlo, you don't need to buy any second hand bargains, you don't need to buy any plain white t-shirts.
Browsing sales, classifieds and eBay are not worthwhile for you.

In this thread, Bela and Syeknom attempt to not buy any clothes until the 24th of August.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby germinal » Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:25 pm

Can I play?

Apart from some sox i haven't bought any clothes since 15th June
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby can- » Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:01 pm

I'm in

own up if u break fast

this will do good things for my wallet

what if I just HAVE to have something tho??
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:16 am

Does it count if I'm basically just saving to buy stuff in september? :(
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:37 am

I guess it can count if you want syek, but that would just be delayed gratification rather than forcing yourself to foster a level of acceptance and contentedness with your current wardrobe.

Felt weak this morning and clicked on a link that supposedly had cheap chuck taylors. I've been after a pair in white for a long time but obviously I really don't need them. The link didn't have any in white anyway so I closed it thankfully.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:00 am

I'll count it for now since going a month without buying will be challenge enough even though it is only delayed gratification. Perhaps the experience will be useful training for the future.

Good show on the chucks, another pair of white trainers is certainly not a Must Have
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:15 pm

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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby can- » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:08 pm

you wouldn't consider those if the price wasnt so good
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:55 pm

The 70% off email hit my resolve too

They're nice shoes for an excellent price but I don't think you really need double monks in your life
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Fri Jul 26, 2013 3:01 pm

I was cruising for some sort of suede shoe for my linen trousers but I think blue is pretty tough to wear in a shoe. Can only really see it working with lighter trousers. Would go well with khakis though.

Either way the point is to not cop things even if you think you have a place for them because there will always be w place for something.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:36 pm

Damnit, private white vc have put trousers and t-shirts up for sale even though they said they didn't do sales.

These trousers were pretty high on my list of wants. Argh!
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Sat Jul 27, 2013 6:55 pm

Pretty sure I remember them not doing sales too. Think they're on Mr porter now though so I guess anything is possible. Either way they're just navy trousers right? You probably either have some or could easily get some.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:15 am

Sales stress me out so much
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:01 am

They used to stress me out but these days I don't find them as bad. The bargains aren't that strong on the kind of things I fiend after mostly and my wardrobe is kind of full anyway...
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:49 am

There's loads of Barena on yoox. Think I quite like barena.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby can- » Sun Jul 28, 2013 1:50 pm

almost bought a maiden noir t shirt for 20$
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:10 pm

I think the key thing is to not say stuff like "I can't afford it" or "I don't need it in my wardrobe" because those are just obstacles that you can talk your way around. Saying "I'm not buying it because I don't want to buy anything right now" is way more absolutist and not really debateable.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby can- » Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:55 pm

bela I am only one man.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:23 am

Come on ben we're not even a week into this.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Mon Jul 29, 2013 3:41 am

Sales can fuck off, I'm going to keep to my plan and save enough money to have a good time in London even if it means "losing" hypothetical money. They can't tell me what to buy and when, they're not my mum.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Mon Jul 29, 2013 7:59 am

There is a difference between abstinence and recovery.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:05 am

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby schiaparelli » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:49 pm

this is going to sound like i'm proselytizing/pretentious af,
but instead of reading MFA/FFA/MF/EMF these days, i've been reading /r/buddhism

and trying to think about the roots of desire, the difference between wanting something and wanting something that you think the possession of a material object can give you, substituting desire for one thing with desire for one another (shifting the issue/moving the goalposts, e.g. what i've been doing when i'm afraid of copping frivolous expensive stuff is buy frivolous socks instead, which are cheaper but still bleed away at my budget), and the actual cessation of desire.

how much of wanting things is:

because we spend all day looking at clothes and we start to feel an impatience for action?
because we are continually being fed promises about how x and y will turn us cooler/more in the know?
because the way of retaining membership in these internet communities is continually buying and consuming?

i wonder if there's a way to talk about fashion without our mindset being inherently consumerist and desirous of owning/having.
my new thing is comparing my idealized cop list to the price of my american private university education.
my other new thing is comparing my idealized cop list to the price of international airfare.
however, i think guilt-tripping yourself into not buying is a stopgap measure at best.
the real thing to chase after is being content with not spending, i guess.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby adhi » Mon Jul 29, 2013 10:57 pm

bela wrote:They used to stress me out but these days I don't find them as bad. The bargains aren't that strong on the kind of things I fiend after mostly and my wardrobe is kind of full anyway...


amen. it's like extra homework.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby can- » Tue Jul 30, 2013 12:18 am

aspiration treadmill isnt it schia?

i will just love myself if i can get this/these

job
white italian rare luxury sneakers
girlfriend
upvotez
etc


but also->
there is a sublime pleasure in loving the ACT of wearing a garment or outfit-- not loving an item in your wardrobe but loving the actual experience of wearing it. this is a valuable experience i think as a human being moving. the trick is to balance that against your natural consumerist urges (which as you state definitely tend to come from weird and subconscious desires)

good post
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby schiaparelli » Tue Jul 30, 2013 3:11 am

"good post", says ben. kinda feel i am climbing an altogether different aspiration treadmill in my increasingly nonsensical internet fashion forum posts—maybe will love myself if others love me and quantitatively express my love through upvotes and +rep? let's all take a moment to seek fulfillment in extrinsic instead of intrinsic things.

to be more serious though, i agree that the process of appreciating and luxuriating in contentedness with your clothing is valuable. ultimately, all of us engage in some form of fashion and style. i think the thing about "getting into" fashion is that it becomes this lens through which you see the world and then it's hard to turn off…you're always going to notice it and small things will tickle your fancy or prick your aesthetic sensibilities into offense. so might as well be happy and peaceful with your clothing.

it's just nice to pass by mirrors and go "damn, i look good" (and then immediately feel guilty for this inner exhibition of ego—although that's kind of silly—we should just be content with ourselves! content with self-confidence!)—luckily what's required for those small moments is fairly little, and most of us probably have it already.

maybe what we should all do is:
thoroughly check ourselves out in the mirror while wearing our favorite outfits;
spend some time chuckling at the poor sartorial decisions of our earlier selves;
take gratuitous macro shots of our clothing (that can be repurposed for the "bits 'n' bobs" thread);
allot some quality time to folding, ironing, hanging up, &c the clothing we already own;
spreadsheeting our valued garments in a cool and collected manner;
and put on our favorite clothes and write long paeans to their utility in our lives…

?
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Tue Jul 30, 2013 3:21 am

Get those macro shots

Find joy in your existing clothing for the work that went into it, the design of the piece, the nature of the materials and the history of the clothing item

Enjoy how good you look on any given day - feeling shame for admiring your outfit seems self-defeating. It'd be equally strange to flagellate yourself for feeling good about doing well at an exam or project.

Try not to care about how others approach dress but try to find joy in how people do express themselves sartorially even if you disagree that it looks Good

Buying stuff and wanting to buy stuff a lot isn't a sin but the compulsive drive is important to curb. I enjoy the sense of wanting to buy something but am pretty restrained about the actual buying - a balancing act i'm more-or-less ok with. Obviously it's more important to be content in your own life than desire more but I'm in a difficult place where feeling content is not easy, so I'm not going to begrudge myself looking at clothes online and enjoying the distraction.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:39 am

We're something like 9 days in from this post's date. I guess I'm finding it OK at the moment. Like a lot of things if you break the initial habit it becomes easier to ride it out to a degree. Been trying not to think of "stuff I'll buy once the no cop is over" but haven't been too successful at that to be honest. There are things in my mind.

I note that ben caved and bought some SI trews. I'd say maybe leave it a while before trying again ben, because when you jump straight back onto it you end up with this feeling like you never broke the no cop. I remember I always used to feel like that, whilst still buying whatever I wanted, using the fictional nocop period to justify it. Like oh I'm on no cop but Uniqlo doesn't break a no cop and this shirt is just to replace one I've grown out of and cetera.

I still keep thinking about those oli spencer dubmonks though. Summer sprezz attack.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:43 am

I find it's helping me to just mentally ignore summer stuff - I'm going to be picking up A/W pieces in september and frankly don't care too much about summer clothes despite the heat currently since summers are so short and usually weak here. Would rather put my money to more interesting stuff later on than jump on everything that moves now.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby can- » Fri Aug 02, 2013 10:46 am

I will be back August 25th to try again

I made myself feel better about buying those pants (and some nike meriweathers) by donating a bunch of my clothes and doing my laundry and hanging everything up.
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