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care-tags.org • View topic - The Price Of Quitting The Game

The Price Of Quitting The Game

Clothes

Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby lostie » Thu Jan 02, 2014 6:18 pm

.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby kyung » Thu Jan 02, 2014 7:03 pm

i think i'm more interested in buying trinkets to put on my desk than buying clothes
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby tttigre » Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:45 pm

maybe this is a silly post but I'm wondering about psychological no-cop strategies, because I want to go on one starting mid-this-month.

I thought I would do a better job of it when I went to Japan, because I figured I would be too big for everything because everything is made for small people. I was half-right. when I went to shops and tried things on most stuff is certainly not built for me, especially shoes, so that was a good deterrent. although I'm not upset with what I actually bought in Japan, because it was few and opportunist. however, when I got home I had a big pile of boxes waiting for me because out-of-sight-out-of-mind was extremely conducive to letting purchases pile up from abroad.

however, I lasted a good month or maybe six weeks at the beginning of the semester (say, Sept 1-Oct 15) in which I didn't buy anything. I was happy about this, and I felt good, and I was content. I liked that my money was going to different things. "experience" things. because I suddenly found myself very busy in contrast to the lazy dregs of summer, this also coincided with me posting and browsing fashion forums and tumblrs less often. of course, the correlation is clear: I don't browse fashion forums, I don't see things I want to have, I don't skim webshops, I don't experience temptation, I don't buy things.

but as I've settled into myself a bit more over the past few months, it turns out I really like this hobby. I enjoy the communities and the people and the blogs. I like engaging in fashion as a spectator, but this leads into a vicious cycle of me seeing things I want, skimming webshops, and buying things. obviously stepping fully away from this stuff would help immensely as I live somewhere where I rarely see real cool stuff I want to emulate, but I don't really want to do that because buying things is a side-effect of what is really genuine enjoyment.

how do I reconcile these things? has anyone else experienced a similar hang-up? what sorts of psychological strategies can I try whilst pursuing a no-cop?
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby kyung » Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:56 pm

Image



muji cardboard castle model

solar powered shiba toy that wags its tail in the sun

kidrobot labbit

some japanese building block thing

polaroid printer

a nice rock i found under a waterfall while traveling in ghana + a couple bracelets they made me
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby inherently » Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:51 pm

i had to clean off my desk at home after I went to college because it got way too dusty in my room, this is what i still have "on display" in my closet:



If I ever end up becoming a professor I want to fill my office with cool trinkets and books.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby drosselmeyer77 » Fri Jan 03, 2014 12:02 pm

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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby odradek » Fri Jan 03, 2014 12:26 pm

i actually have almost no problems with my cop-rophilia; the only thing that bothers me is the shoebox-sized space I have to keep my clothes. i love having too much (let's be real, i could halve my closet today and still be perfectly happy) and i love being a collector of shit i like. personally, i think it's much cooler to have gobs of off-kilter designer clothes than shelves filled with porcelain figures. i spent almost 10k in 2013 and maybe 1k of that was stuff i shouldnt've bought, most of which was impulse and is in the process of being flipped. looking at the list of purchases in the past year, the bar for a Great Purchase is "over the fucking moon." that's a great problem to have, even my bad purchases are well-loved. there's something really nice about coming back to something that you loved and loving it again and being in a time machine to when that was The Thing.

this is all a long-winded way to say that i reject no cop as a categorical. instead i'm putting myself in for planned cop. i've moved through shoes, boots, outerwear (i think i'm done for the season, i swear. i'm even passing on that ts(s) thing that was stupid cheap), tees, hoodies, cardigans, shirting, suiting, etc. So, until april, the only things I'm going to buy are planned, things that i've been eyeballing. for accountability purposes, these are: STORY jeans, the journal standard indigo knit from unionmade if it goes on sale in my size, a replacement pair of vans authentics (or possibly eras, i haven't decided which is why i haven't bought), and one pair of simple wool trousers that will work with boots, if they pop up. this looks to be about 800 dollars and i am ok with this.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby teck » Fri Jan 03, 2014 12:49 pm

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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby rjbman » Fri Jan 03, 2014 4:13 pm

Planning on using up the giftcards/returns from Christmas then doing no-cop till May and my immigration(?) to Chicago.

Really want the STORY jeans too, but I don't think the cut is right, so I'll wait for a different one.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby lostie » Mon Jan 06, 2014 4:26 pm

WELP I failed no-cop. Bought timbs on sale (though I was going to buy them for myself as a Christmas gift, just never got around to it).

Will wait a while before trying again :(
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby schiaparelli » Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:11 pm

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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby rjbman » Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:22 pm

Starting no-cop barring a few books off amazon (with gift cards) and Lolla tix until May.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby drosselmeyer77 » Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:01 am

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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby rjbman » Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:01 am

Does it count as breaking no-cop if it's a need? As in, I need a scarf it's way too fucking cold to be walking around with my face exposed.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:13 am

Yes it counts, unless you buy one for #3 from the newsagent.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby RycePooding » Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:50 pm

wrap a t shirt around your face.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby sidewalk » Thu Jan 23, 2014 2:06 pm

here is like going to a bar to talk about being in AA.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby UnwashedMolasses » Thu Jan 23, 2014 2:17 pm

It's the need to counterbalance a habit that is almost by necessity extremely materialistic. I suppose it'd be possible to nerd out over fashion and still shop at Walmart, but for most people the interest in fashion from an academic perspective is coupled with the interest from a personal perspective, specifically dressing yourself in a way that makes you happy and/or makes you feel like you're part of the fashion community. I don't see no-cops as unhealthy; they're more a means to prevent an excess of spending or too much a focus on consumption.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby sidewalk » Thu Jan 23, 2014 2:31 pm

But surely when the problem itself is browsing internet fashion, it seems counterintuitive. The desire only comes from finding flintstone or seeing things you want. If you take that away, there is no desire.

What I see here is an expression of an unhealthy desire. When you are saying you need to stop purchasing and why, it is time to step away. There are many things to address, but the issue seems to be a gravitation towards certain factors that cause this. It's like a fixation that causes further evaluation. I see the overlying issue, being purchases, but there are underlying circumstances.

Aside from that, (not to call anyone out as I am in the same boat) when somebody is asking for strategies to not buy things, there is no answer. The more you expose yourself to these types of things or scenarios, the larger the issue becomes. But, this is not the point I even wanted to make. All I wanted to get across was that we should be embracing fashion as to appreciate our hobby. It shouldn't get to the point that materialization is all we care about.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby maj » Thu Jan 23, 2014 6:18 pm

think a lot of it comes from the fact you'll see a lot of users with a high turn over wardrobe, they'll buy several things and then a few months later they've sold it again to buy new things, it's not just omg you're spending a lot of money that's bad, it's omg you're spending a lot of money then selling it on 4 months later making a net loss and gaining very little from a wardrobe perspective. every few months it's good to step back and re-assess recent purchases and make what you have work even if your tastes have changed to avoid the vicious cycle of buying out of pure want and having your wants change and make that purchase you loved feel pointless, helping to narrow down what you want to buy until it gets to the point where you're turning down clothes because one tiny thing is wrong with them. at that point you'll be buying a lot less but what you do buy you'll keep and enjoy for years to come. you may come into sections where you find buys coming one after the other and you feel 'wow these are all great' and this is to be encouraged, but the problems come when your buys are scatter shot and you're constantly regretting. no cops and re-evaluation are one way to deal with this and the other is to keep buying and selling till you find what you really want, both are valid but one is a hell of a lot cheaper.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:01 pm

Am I understandiing correctly if I say your major contention is that if people don't want to buy clothes, they should not visit the forum or participate in internet fashion full stop? That seems unecessarily limiting to me. Aside from the fact that for some people there's more going on here than clothes talk.

Not buying clothes doesn't have to be about not liking clothes or not wanting clothes. It can be about saving up for clothes, or for something other than clothes, or for getting a better perspective on what you need or what you really want. None of these reasons are particularly attributable to Internet Fashion. Before I'd ever thought of going on forums I'd still waste time and money cruising for "bargains" on the high street and I doubt I'm alone in that. People like to buy things in general. So I think you're wrong that an interest in fashion in itself creates desire and that the only cure is to cut yourself away from it entirely. I also don't like what this implies: That the only interactionswe can have with fashion is desiring clothes. That if you don't want to buy clothes then there's nothing else you can do with them because any interaction with fashion will inevitably result in a purchase or at least the desire to purchase. I don't think that is true for everyone and I worry for those it is true for.

I don't think this thread is inherently negative towards clothes but even if it was I don't feel like it would be particularly bad to have it in a forum that's so overwhelmingly positive towards clothes (in all the best ways). I think it's less like going to a bar and talking about AA and more like going to a bar and seeing that there are a bunch of people drinking cokes. You don't have to abstain but if you want to, the option is there and it doesn't mean you have to sit at home on your own. There are plenty of ways to not buy things, still be interested in clothes, and still have fun on care tags.

Sorry if this post comes across as overly agressive or if I've misinterpreted what you meant. I think that given the state of fashion and the world in general any no cop counter balance that I can provide will never be enough so I feel entitled to distribute it at any chance I get.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby teck » Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:14 pm

bela i see what you mean but to run with the aa thing if you are an alcoholic then you definitely wouldn't be going to bars to hang out tho, right? Of course this analogy breaks down some (and is a bit inappropriate for most our situations).

i do think that the whole "stepping back" thing helps, and being critical of what you want to buy is important. realizing that you're getting swept up in something isn't necessarily ok but if you're cognizant about it at least you can have some modicum of control back.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Mippipopolous » Fri Jan 24, 2014 1:03 pm

I've never really liked the "no cop" mentality myself, but maybe I just don't understand it all that well. There just seems to be a small element of self-flagellation about it. I certainly understand wanting to take a step back and be more critical of one's spending habits, but by elevating it to a different level with the idea of "no cop" seems kind of strange to me, as does beating yourself up for making a purchase. I do feel maj summed up the reasons for abstaining from purchasing very well a couple posts ago, but I'm just skeptical with the labeling of "no cop" is all I guess. Shouldn't we always seek to be critical and observant of our purchasing in all facets of our life? I understand fashion is obviously a bit more intense in respect to purchasing and such, but similar problems are prevalent in all hobbies, and it just seems like the no cop thing has more than a smidgen of guilt in it when it comes to be involved in a hobby that at least on a surface level is often seen as more materialistic and shallow than others. Obviously I think the wonderful and thoughtful discussions we have here go a long way to disproving any innate shallowness, but there does seem to be lingering seeds of doubt sometimes. It just seems to me that by going on a "no cop" period you're elevating your problem and making it grow in stature in a lot of ways, and beating yourself up for breaking that period by engaging in a hobby you enjoy just seems silly. Buying responsibly should just really be the name of the game, shouldn't it? Why the label is I guess just what I'm asking. I guess everyone has their own ways to engage with their hobbies and interests in an enjoyable way, and that's great.

I don't know if I'm articulating my thoughts here very well at all, tired and more than a little sick here at the moment. Perhaps I'm just reading into things is all. Anyone wanna help me out by maybe illustrating why they do use the term no cop and why they think it's a good one?
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby verilyvert » Fri Jan 24, 2014 1:35 pm

For new years, I didn't like the idea of a no-cop resolution, because it felt like a punishment and I didn't want to punish myself for enjoying fashion. Rather my resolution was to build contentedness with what I already have, and have no-cop be a side effect of that resolution rather than the focus.

I think its important to look at why we buy what we buy, and recognize what a strong role emotions can play in consumerism. Creating some space (whether through no-cop, or reduced forum activity) between yourself and a purchase is a good way to reduce the emotion involved, but I think its even healthier to be aware of those emotions to begin with, and understand your motivation for wanting to make a purchase in the first place.

I never liked the mantra "desire is suffering" because I see it as a natural human emotion, and not something innately negative. I feel like denying yourself certain emotions reduces the human experience. Better to be aware of, and understand your emotions in order to have mastery of them. I find continuously realigning your desires with healthy pursuits (such as desiring contentedness) and exercising moderation to be much more fulfilling than intermittent periods of denial.
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:36 pm

You know what I'm sick of being civil why don't you guys make your own thread about how you love buying things and you're going to keep doing it forever and ever and ever and it's really great.

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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby verilyvert » Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:51 pm

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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby bels » Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:59 pm

From now on No Cop Club is a paramilitary organisation
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby can- » Fri Jan 24, 2014 3:02 pm

add what? I need to know what that word is
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby can- » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:45 pm

whinefields bought a Kolor blazer and I'm outing him
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Re: Desire Is Suffering

Postby Syeknom » Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:29 am

Shame on whinefields for not coming forward

I'm not on zero-policemen but trying to keep my spending down tight. Went to look see if there were any cheap C&J seconds at the store (there was nothing for me) but ended up in another shop with a tom ford tie in my hand. Very pleased with myself for walking away because although it was a good price (for a ford tie) it isn't anything i need right now and would merely be to scratch an itch. Good job, myself!
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