Kynlíf

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Re: Kynlíf

Postby vgtbls » Mon Jun 09, 2014 6:06 pm

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Re: Kynlíf

Postby hunnish » Wed Jun 18, 2014 4:52 pm

I was thinking about Watership Down during the weirdest/second-worst sexual encounter I've had.

In Watership Down, the rabbits discuss how their bodies were built for short bursts of speed, not long journeys, so this great migration will be impossible! Now imagine a guy who fucks like a rabbit. Not because he's a prolific breeder, but because his whole style is short, rapid movements.

Last night I got drunk and out of boredom, curiosity, and foolishness I messaged a guy who I hooked up with on a playground at like 1am last August. We had a weird dynamic for like 2 weeks and haven't talked since. After chatting for a while this morning, he invited me over and we hook up.

The first time he's done in two minutes and I get nothing. In the intermediate before we try again, he brings out a fucking book of poetry and tells me that he likes this and that and doesn't like these. Reads "We Are Seven" by Wordsworth while I try not to laugh at how absurd this is.

We try again after he shows me his favorite sonnets and he basically humps my chest for 10 minutes. No clue how this is doing anything for him, and it certainly isn't enjoyable for me, but he just does his rabbit thrusts and I lay there bored as shit. Eventually I give up and put my clothes back on, but he starts asking me questions. He wants me to rate his looks on a scale of 1-10.

"I don't really want to rate you. Why would you even want to hear that?"
"I just need an objective opinion on my looks. From someone I talk to, like, regularly."
"Barring the fact we haven't talked in almost a year, my opinion can't be objective."

He coaxed it out of me and I gave him a 7.5 without personality accounted for. 6.5 with.

"Ok now what if I go to the gym and get muscular like this guy?" Then he shows me a picture on his phone of an athlete like he has this shit prepared at all times.
"Why are you so concerned with my opinion of you?"
"Not your opinion, but what people think in general. I just got broken up with." AND THERE WE HAVE IT. Low self-esteem city.

Doorbell rings. His friend is here to carpool to work. I follow him down to the door.

"Haydn, this is Rachel. Rachel--Haydn."

I shake her hand and give an awkward smile, realizing that she would 100% not have accepted that handshake had she had time to process why I was leaving his house. I'm already half way out the door when he says "Bye, Haydn".

Another day, another nickel.

I'm gonna go wash my hands again.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby exprof » Wed Jun 18, 2014 5:26 pm

I woke up to a dude taking a selfie with my sleeping body once ,_,
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby JewTurk » Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:01 pm

Is it possible to have no sex drive whatsoever independent of your religious views?

Like, straight up asexual.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby mc-lunar » Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:35 pm

Asexuality is definitely a real thing, but obviously there is a stigma associated with it. According to this study, roughly 1% of the population describes themselves as asexual. If you're wondering about yourself, I usually don't recommend it but tumblr has a proportionally larger amount of people that describe themselves as asexual than most online communities, and there are plenty of great resources there. If you just want to get some reading done, the wikipedia page is surprisingly well-informed and is a fantastic place to start.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby JewTurk » Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:08 am

mc-lunar wrote:Asexuality is definitely a real thing, but obviously there is a stigma associated with it. According to this study, roughly 1% of the population describes themselves as asexual. If you're wondering about yourself, I usually don't recommend it but tumblr has a proportionally larger amount of people that describe themselves as asexual than most online communities, and there are plenty of great resources there. If you just want to get some reading done, the wikipedia page is surprisingly well-informed and is a fantastic place to start.


Someone rep'd my comment and said it may be indicative of health problems which could be very true.

This list I found from the wiki:
anxiety, depression, or fear
communication problems
deep-seated psychological problems
fatigue and stress
gynecologic disease or other sexual dysfunctions
having an unskilled or uncaring partner
prior history of sexual abuse

I can definitely check the box on 4 of these, so who knows. I try and shy away from a lot of the "communities" on tumblr because they get pretty ridiculous.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby JewTurk » Sun Jun 22, 2014 4:48 pm

@balloons

I eat pretty healthy in my opinion. Cereal/oats/sausage for breakfast most day. Cheese and crackers and cold cuts, sandwiches, carrots and pretzels and hummus for lunch. I snack on beef jerky and drink tea throughout the day. Dinner is pretty much a crap shoot every night.

My meals are weird though, I eat breakfast at noon when I wake up because of work, eat lunch around 4 right before I leave for work, and dinner on my break around 9 o'clock or so.

Should I go to my doctor/get a physical? I'm a little worried.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby can- » Sun Jun 22, 2014 6:06 pm

u don't even jerk it ?
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby JewTurk » Sun Jun 22, 2014 6:20 pm

cameron- wrote:u don't even jerk it ?


Valentines day weekend was the last time me and my girlfriend did anything, and I haven't jerked it since.

So probably 4 months now...
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby balloons » Sun Jun 22, 2014 6:26 pm

maybe try working out or something; I think that boosts testosterone
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby JewTurk » Sun Jun 22, 2014 6:29 pm

balloons wrote:maybe try working out or something; I think that boosts testosterone


I workout 3 days a week doing Strong Lifts 5x5. I run on my off days except sunday.

I think I need to see my physician, I'm not worried about it. I just think I have a very healthy life style and that isn't the problem. Might go see a dietitian first though, there may just be a hole in my diet that I'm not seeing.

e:

Thank you for the responses though guys, better than just going in blind to my doctor saying "I want to have the drive to have sex, but I don't".
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby raags » Sun Jun 22, 2014 9:57 pm

If you check the box on four of the things you mentioned it's extremely likely they're playing a part in your lack of libido... Doctor / professional to help sort them out sounds like a good bet. A dietitian could be good, but if it's something physiological it's far more likely to be a Low Testosterone (which you'd need to get bloodwork done to determine, and I don't believe a dietitian can do this).

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A DOCTOR
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby uxjtsu » Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:16 am

If you are having difficulty getting aroused whatso ever, then it's most likely psychological. I'm not sure how old you are- but if you are taking any meds or have made sudden changes to your lifestyle that would affect it too. Or it could be nothing is wrong and you just aren't as horny as some people.

Were you like this all your life or did your libidos die down gradually?
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby JewTurk » Mon Jun 23, 2014 3:23 am

uxjtsu wrote:If you are having difficulty getting aroused whatso ever, then it's most likely psychological. I'm not sure how old you are- but if you are taking any meds or have made sudden changes to your lifestyle that would affect it too. Or it could be nothing is wrong and you just aren't as horny as some people.

Were you like this all your life or did your libidos die down gradually?

I can get up just fine, I'll wake up with wood every now and then. I just have no sex drive whatsoever and after what would be just over 4 months now I'm starting to notice.

I'm going to my doctor, as aforementioned. I want to get some tests done and have her hear my thoughts. There's definitely something that needs to be taken care of.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby klonopin » Mon Jun 23, 2014 11:13 pm

I think this conversation is missing the distinction between lack of libido and asexuality. Like if you don't want to have sex but you don't want to not want to have sex, then there is a problem and you should see whatever sort of professional you imagine is most qualified to help. But like if you just don't want to have sex and you're cool with that then just call yrself asexual and be happy about and don't let other people tell you yr unhealthy. You sound more like the former so its good to see your doctor, but don't let other ppl tell you you have a problem that you don't think you do.

On another note, I had totally grownup sex for the first time last week. Like we both knew what we wanted (at least during the act; my feeltalk is a diff side to the story) and talked through what we liked and didn't like while it was happening and we'd just sort of stop and start all night with no real foreplay vs. intercourse vs. climax distinction and there was no awkward teenage beating-around-the-bush stuff or awkward post-coital non-eye contact. we even cut lines in the middle of it which was so trashy that we couldn't stop hysterically laughing at ourselves and had to pull out for the lines' sake. I walked naked to the kitchen afterword to get some water and say hi to her dog. Then we watched rick and morty and talked nonchalantly about our bodies, our sexuality, our partners. maybe that's weird sex to call 'grownup' but that's how it felt to me.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby purkinje » Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:18 am

u know that thing where everyone smells like caramel svedka and then you hook up with your good friend on a couch under a sleeping bag and then pretend like nothing ever happened the next morning and you're both hungover and have to go to the same social event

(I do)
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby zayg » Thu Jun 26, 2014 1:47 pm

high sex is best sex

edit: but high making out is really strange
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby SisterRayVU » Sun Jun 29, 2014 1:05 pm

Haven't participated here in a while. Without going into the feeltalk aspect of it, last girl I was with has been a semi-regular thing. Wasn't really wanting to continue it so I'd try to find ways to distract her/myself while we were in bed. We watched Supreme's Cherry video and like half of Dogtown before having sex.

Cherry is really good and I can watch it once a month and not care.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby silvaeri » Wed Jul 23, 2014 11:52 pm

i think this is the best thread to post this in.

anyways, last weekend went out to the bars and meet a friend's roommate for the first time and ending up hooking up with her a bit that night. all is well and good she was pretty cool and all that but i had a nagging feeling like i had met/seen her before somewhere.

was scrolling through my tinder matches today and got down to the ones from a couple months ago when i had gotten it as a joke or something i don't really remember. and lo and behold there she is as one of my matches. apparently we had matched like two months ago and neither of us had actually realized it this weekend.

thought this was kind of funny and wanted to share.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby torukun » Fri Jul 25, 2014 3:53 am

I think I might go on a hookup freeze for a little bit

A couple times now I've hooked up with girls and then just felt really dissatisfied and unhappy with myself afterwards. Had a chat about it with my therapist and we figured out that:

basically what I do is I look for validation through hookups, but I also don't want to get rejected so I don't always approach the girls I am actually into. What this means is that the people I hook up with end up being unable to provide me with said validation because they're not actually the people I want. so.

I think I'll just try to be friendly and focus more on enjoying myself, less on "hey am I gonna get laid tonight".
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby sparkyoriental » Wed Aug 13, 2014 7:23 am

I've been in a fwb situation with an old ex (from years ago) who recently got out of a year long relationship. We've been hooking up 1-2x a week for the past month. Primary problem is that our libidos are totally different, he wants to have sex maybe once a week and I want to ~2-3++. I would text him a couple times a week to see if he was free, but he'd always answer that he's feeling tired or not up to it. This is totally fine, but it would leave me feeling frustrated and unsatisfied and I decided to end it last night via text citing mismatched libidos as the main reason. I told him that I still wanted to be friends.

Now, 12 hours later, I'm kind of regretting my decision, but I don't really want to renege. >_> And in retrospect, I feel like I kinda gave off the impression that I'm using him solely for sex, which in a way, I was. I feel really badly about it all, and I want to apologize but he seemed annoyed/possibly upset with me towards the end of the conversation so I just let it go.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby can- » Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:48 am

has anyone ever had sex in space? how does nobody know?
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby silvaeri » Thu Sep 11, 2014 9:59 am

Went out on a few dates with this girl from tinder a few weeks back, and after the third we ended up going to her place and hooking up. I feel like an ass because it was during that night that I realized I wasn't feeling any sort of "spark" or anything with this girl and I ended up ending things with her a few days later. Just feeling like that stereotypical bro/douche who only wanted sex and then peaced out once they got it. But honestly it took me until that point to realize that while this girl was really cool and shit, I just liked her as a friend and nothing more.

idk i'm rambling
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby WikiZuHeltzer » Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:41 am

Hey man, I know how you feel. I've been tinder whoreing myself out since my ex and I split and I've met this one girl who in any other situation I would more than likely date. My head just doesn't seem to be there though, I know shes cool, we've hooked up a couple of times and gone to a couple of gigs but it's not triggering any emotions. It feels like everything has just been switched off. Look at it like this though: sometimes it takes trying out every possible outcome of a relationship with a person before you realise where they really fit in in your life. So you had a romantic interest, pursued that and then figured out that wasn't where its at. If you realised what you felt and then called it off, you're not like the bros/douche's.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby silvaeri » Thu Sep 11, 2014 11:55 am

@WikiZuHeltzer - You pretty much described my exact progression / feelings and shit. Like she was cool and all I just feel completely switched off and wasn't getting any emotions out of it. It just didn't feel right to me or was what I was looking for.

Thanks for the reassurance everyone
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby can- » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:31 pm

what about this makes you a douche? it's not like you promised her a future together. it's 2014 and there are just as many girls out there who only want to smash casually.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby WikiZuHeltzer » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:38 pm

You're right but its the situation of whats happening that triggers those thoughts. You feel like youve been using and manipulating someone. The immediate aftermath of the realisation is self loathing because you don't feel like youve been true to your beliefs and ideals.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby ramseames » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:42 pm

Casual relationships are not immoral, as long as you act respectfully and are open about your intentions (which can/will/are allowed to change over time) you have no reason to feel like you're being a bad person
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby silvaeri » Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:55 pm

@ben and ram - i think i felt shitty because afterwards i could tell she was wayyy more into me than i was her, and i felt bad that i ended things afterwards. i dunno, i know i shouldn't have really felt bad because i was respectful and open about my intentions (which were hey you're cool, let's hang out more and get to know each other) and ended things in a good way.
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Re: Kynlíf

Postby bobo77 » Sun Sep 14, 2014 3:02 pm

Just got a Tinder. It's weird seeing people you know on it. Like even if you wanna hook up with them, is it weird to do it through Tinder, or does it take away akwardness? I mean if they're on Tinder, they presumably are looking for the same shit, and if you get matched, presumably they wanna hook up?
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