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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby hunnish » Thu Dec 26, 2013 2:14 pm

Yesterday my family went to my maternal grandparent's house for Christmas dinner, as usual. For their gift this year, we commissioned a water color painting of their recently deceased lab based on a picture I took of him. I'd never seen them like a gift so much; my grandma just held the painting and smiled for about 15 minutes.

Not an hour later and she was talking to my sister's fiance about the painting, but telling him how she thought she remembered seeing it around the house. Someone must have taken it before and she was very glad that my mother brought it back to her. My mom has been dealing with them a lot in the past few months as they tried to get a new puppy to replace their old one, but couldn't keep up with its need for exercise. She's always said that the grandmother that I know is nothing like the mother she had growing up. I had assumed it was just old age calming them down, but recently it's become more clear that they're less and less involved in reality. It's difficult to see them like that when I remember them always being at birthdays, Christmases, and each weekend when we'd drive up to visit them in the country.

They're still competent people, but it's clear that some dementia is setting in.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby omgimacarrot » Thu Dec 26, 2013 2:42 pm

hunnish wrote:Yesterday my family went to my maternal grandparent's house for Christmas dinner, as usual. For their gift this year, we commissioned a water color painting of their recently deceased lab based on a picture I took of him. I'd never seen them like a gift so much; my grandma just held the painting and smiled for about 15 minutes.

Not an hour later and she was talking to my sister's fiance about the painting, but telling him how she thought she remembered seeing it around the house. Someone must have taken it before and she was very glad that my mother brought it back to her. My mom has been dealing with them a lot in the past few months as they tried to get a new puppy to replace their old one, but couldn't keep up with its need for exercise. She's always said that the grandmother that I know is nothing like the mother she had growing up. I had assumed it was just old age calming them down, but recently it's become more clear that they're less and less involved in reality. It's difficult to see them like that when I remember them always being at birthdays, Christmases, and each weekend when we'd drive up to visit them in the country.

They're still competent people, but it's clear that some dementia is setting in.

Sorry to hear that. My grandmother is in the final stages of dementia and has double pneumonia right now. Surprisingly she remembered it was Christmas yesterday and refused to do anything before her family showed up at the nursing home. If you're able to, see them as much as possible, allowing their memory to be constantly refreshed. On the bright side, my grandmother remembers little things and when she does, she just lights up and it is super adorable.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby teck » Thu Dec 26, 2013 3:30 pm

my grandpas also slowing down mentally. the other day i just had him tell one of his stories while i recorded on my iphone. imma have to have it translated since my Vietnamese isn't very good. i feel he's got so much wisdom/stories to give.

in other news my middle sister drives me nuts. we either get along really well, joking and such, or we become passive aggressive monsters and i shut down.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby purkinje » Thu Dec 26, 2013 3:37 pm

hunnish wrote:Yesterday my family went to my maternal grandparent's house for Christmas dinner, as usual. For their gift this year, we commissioned a water color painting of their recently deceased lab based on a picture I took of him. I'd never seen them like a gift so much; my grandma just held the painting and smiled for about 15 minutes.

Not an hour later and she was talking to my sister's fiance about the painting, but telling him how she thought she remembered seeing it around the house. Someone must have taken it before and she was very glad that my mother brought it back to her. My mom has been dealing with them a lot in the past few months as they tried to get a new puppy to replace their old one, but couldn't keep up with its need for exercise. She's always said that the grandmother that I know is nothing like the mother she had growing up. I had assumed it was just old age calming them down, but recently it's become more clear that they're less and less involved in reality. It's difficult to see them like that when I remember them always being at birthdays, Christmases, and each weekend when we'd drive up to visit them in the country.

They're still competent people, but it's clear that some dementia is setting in.


Dementia is truly a terrible disease. My grandmother started showing signs of alzheimer's around 2000, and I was young enough that I barely remember her for the person that she was. It starts with small things; combativeness, misplaced personal items, and then eventually she's putting the coffee pot in the drier and trying to walk to the bus stop to catch a bus back to her childhood home in Pennsylvania 400 miles away, sobbing when she's taken back to the house because her dead mother will wonder where she is for dinner. Coupled with her diabetes, she got harder and harder to handle at home, especially after her husband died. After going through several in-home nurses we moved her into a nursing home. She's blind, in a wheel chair, and hasn't said a full sentence in a few years. My dad still visits her on his lunch break every day, and my extended family visited her yesterday; she smiles and opens her eyes when someone kisses her on the head. Sometimes she says a few words here and there. What I wouldn't give for five minutes inside her mind just to see what she actually perceives.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby Prince of Scandinavia » Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:01 pm

hunnish wrote:Yesterday my family went to my maternal grandparent's house for Christmas dinner, as usual. For their gift this year, we commissioned a water color painting of their recently deceased lab based on a picture I took of him. I'd never seen them like a gift so much; my grandma just held the painting and smiled for about 15 minutes.

Not an hour later and she was talking to my sister's fiance about the painting, but telling him how she thought she remembered seeing it around the house. Someone must have taken it before and she was very glad that my mother brought it back to her. My mom has been dealing with them a lot in the past few months as they tried to get a new puppy to replace their old one, but couldn't keep up with its need for exercise. She's always said that the grandmother that I know is nothing like the mother she had growing up. I had assumed it was just old age calming them down, but recently it's become more clear that they're less and less involved in reality. It's difficult to see them like that when I remember them always being at birthdays, Christmases, and each weekend when we'd drive up to visit them in the country.

They're still competent people, but it's clear that some dementia is setting in.


Sorry to hear this disby. As others has said, dementia is something you don't wish for anyone. It's horrible not only for the person with dementia, but a lot more for the close relatives around them. I remember my great grandmother was approximately 90 when she started to develop dementia. I recall the times visiting her from the age of 7 to 10 where she would start calling me for my little brothers name, or even just forget our names and just call us "my little boys", while also forgetting her daugther and grand daughter's name from time to time. I vaguely remember the sadness in my family's faces when we were celebrating my great grandmother's 94th birthday. We were all sitting at the dinner table eating some delicious pie, then all of a sudden my great grandmother just looks confused and asks out in the blue "What's this? Why is there cake on the table?" to which my grandmother replied "Well mum, it's your birthday". We were all looking at her, hoping she would respond with some endearing reply and sign of her still being her mentally. It's something you start hoping for each time she asks a random question like that. But this time she just says "Mum? I ain't your mum. Why are you all sitting at my table? Where's Edward? (my great grandfather who had been dead for 8 years by then), get out of my house! Edward, where are you? Get these strangers out of my house immediatly!".

I really hope it'll take a long time before it really hits your grandparents. It's hard getting used to the random questions of where they might be or what you're doing right now. But when it comes to when they ask who you are, that's when it starts to hurt. And later on when they don't realise the answers you give to their question, like you're their grandson or if you're out taking a walk with them etc. that's when it really hurt.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby silvaeri » Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:42 pm

omgimacarrot wrote:You've summed up my feelings on break. The only thing that I enjoy here is making money. Everything else is back at college. I'm trying to get over this feeling of blah, but thankfully this is my last winter break ever...I'll probably regret saying this in a year.


yeah, this is my second to last break (damn taking 5 years to get my bachelors.) my job is back at school, so thankfully i'll be heading back to start working again on the 2nd and make some money. i've really realized that basically everything in my life is back in minneapolis.i definitely feel out of place in my family dynamic when i come "home" for break.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby can- » Sun Dec 29, 2013 12:53 am

ay bruz, it's normal that you should feel different when you go back to your hometown and family. you probably left them as a child so naturally there will be some weird readjusting coming back to them as an adult or adult in progress. that's just a part of life and growing up, don't sweat it

best that you can reconcile your adult self and life with where you came from if possible, rather than write it off as history
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby silvaeri » Sun Dec 29, 2013 2:16 am

thanks for the advice ben.

i feel ya on reconciling your current life with where you came from, it's just weird coming home and seeing my younger siblings still going about their day to day lives here with my mom, just feels sort of surreal. like i don't identify myself as an independent adult-like figure, but then i definitely don't feel like the kid i was when i lived here full time.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby hot coffee » Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:24 am

Been at my parents for however long. Not seeing my girlfriend is getting to me, I'm at the point were all I'm doing is listening to Drake, eating cookies, and drinking all my mother's alcohol
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby UnwashedMolasses » Sun Dec 29, 2013 11:58 am

Hey guys! I've been away for a while but I'm ready to get back into things. I definitely want to apologize to teck, I haven't been super communicative over the last few weeks, shit's been crazy with family in town but that's no excuse. I see a lot of new people joining in and posting fits and having fun and that's super heartwarming.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby Catfush » Sun Dec 29, 2013 12:51 pm

I need to post here more. You guys have such an awesome community and I love interacting with everyone here.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby ramseames » Mon Dec 30, 2013 1:19 pm

Ugh. The last 72 hours have been spent sleeping, lying in bed awake, taking advil cold and sinus, sweating profusely, washing bedsheets every few hours because of it, taking showers in the same vein, watching my temperature climb back up to 40 Celcius after the advil wears off, and drinking like 15-20 glasses of water a day. Feel absolutely disgusting. 99.5% sure I'm going to be asleep by 7pm on new years trying to fight this thing off.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby thug » Tue Dec 31, 2013 8:11 pm

New Years Resolutions are so cliche but I have to admit I'm feeling really good about starting the new year. Each year I look back and frown upon the person I was the previous year and that tradition hasn't ended, but I definitely made some improvements as I look back.

Hope everyone has a great year! :woop:
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby kyung » Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:13 am

visited my grandmother today for new years as well

she lives in assisted living and it's tough seeing her in such a place. for the little time i'm there i just become aware of the sheer monotony of the place. the air just feels so stagnant and cold, these people just shuffle around with walkers on tile floors and sit in front of a tv all day. i have all of these memories of my grandma living at home, tending her plants and cooking and leading a fairly normal life. my freshman year of high schoolshe had a pretty bad fall and we weren't capable of taking care of her. she's been in and out of hospital settings for the past 5 years and i can see that it kills my dad seeing his own mother like this. i can't imagine how he manages to hold it together + all of the other shit he has to deal with regarding bills and the rest of the family. i don't see myself having any kind of strength like that and i really look up to my parents for that reason

in 2014 i want to take my grandma out to lunch more, or just watch tv with her. loneliness is something i'm too familiar with and i can't wish that for her. i'm thinking of buying her a plant.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby navin » Thu Jan 02, 2014 8:22 pm

i believe my gf is messing with another dude
have no evidence but today her dad call me and asked where was i. She told me she was going to her cousins place, and after the call she told me another story about how she told me whe where going to meet up and complained i stood her up
dont know what he fuck to do because i dont have enough evidence
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby maj » Thu Jan 02, 2014 8:23 pm

she could be planning a surprise party, i don't think there is a need to jump to conclusions so soon. have you had any other feelings or is it based on this alone?
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby navin » Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:05 pm

shes been acting weird lately, she recently asked to break up with me because of some problems and i told her i was going to change (i used to be very jealous and mad all the time and i realized how bad it was) and we got back together.
she doesnt want me to go to her place, is very careful with her phone and changed her passwords.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby lostie » Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:17 am

:( you guys are giving me lots of feels. i spent the better part of the night reading this entire thread and i just want to hug everyone.

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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby prawnzee » Fri Jan 03, 2014 11:28 am

japan blue's stuck in customs. been waiting for these forever, and now I have to pay more. sucks butts
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby Capt » Fri Jan 03, 2014 4:53 pm

Interview went really well, and it feels real good to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby navin » Sat Jan 04, 2014 10:39 pm

my gf broke up with me today.
she said she was developing feelings for another dude and didnt want to hurt me
:(
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby omgimacarrot » Sun Jan 05, 2014 12:03 am

Went out to dinner with some of my family for my birthday. It wasn't a place I picked (usually the person with the birthday picks), but they insisted we go because they had great service last time. Whatever. A family member ended up reserving a table and the waitress they had last time only to find out they were hooking me up with her. Got free desserts and had some great chardonnay.

Dad pounded down wine, which leads me to believe he is becoming an alcoholic. I've been home for a month and almost every day he has one or two drinks; Fridays and Saturdays he gets tipsy/drunk. I say alcoholic because he is becoming dependent on it from what I'm assuming due to major medical surgeries (hip replacement and prostate taken out). I'm really unsure what to do.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby quad » Sun Jan 05, 2014 2:32 am

talk to him about it
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby kyung » Sun Jan 05, 2014 1:37 pm

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Lunch w/ gramgram :o)
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby balloons » Sun Jan 05, 2014 7:51 pm

was gonna get breakfast with my girlfriend today but was up really late last night and overslept and basically stood her up. kept trying to apologize but she was just like "It's fine", "It's whatever", etc., tho I could tell from her tone it wasn't really whatever. today's the last day of winter break so we can't really get breakfast tomorrow.

feel like total shit, have no idea how to make it up to her, today sucks pretty bad
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby Renalan » Mon Jan 06, 2014 6:44 pm

yung bloons, what u gotta do is be straight

- tell her what was up, apologize
- tell her u aint want no games
- ur young. bitch who play games aint worth your time
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby Dobwin » Tue Jan 07, 2014 10:28 am

My girlfriend texted me this morning saw "we need to talk about something" and that it was "something we can't discuss over text". So that's going to be fun. She also texted me 13 god damn hours before she was free to talk, so I get to spend all this time worrying about it. Good way to start the semester.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby eufemism » Tue Jan 07, 2014 3:32 pm

I'm moving into an apartment near school this semester opposed to commuting. I have mixed feelings about it. It'll be much easier for me to meet people and get help with classes, but I hate to leave my brother behind. He has a tough time hanging out with people with my parents working during the day, but if I'm not there he doesn't have any way to do stuff. I don't want to see him spending the day just watching tv and not going out. Idk, I'm conflicted about it.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby Dobwin » Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:15 pm

Dobwin wrote:My girlfriend texted me this morning saw "we need to talk about something" and that it was "something we can't discuss over text". So that's going to be fun. She also texted me 13 god damn hours before she was free to talk, so I get to spend all this time worrying about it. Good way to start the semester.


Well I talked to her. Since we got back from winter break I've been getting really annoyed with her for really asinine things, and she picked up on it and wanted to talk about it. We've only been dating for about two months, so it's not super serious.

She said we could go back to just dating casually, if that's something I wanted. And honestly I'm not sure. I really liked her last semester, but we just don't hang out and talk the same since then. She just became an RA, so that might have something to do with it, but our conversations have been pretty dull this last week or so. I'm just not sure how I feel at this point, need some time to think about it.
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Re: feeltalk thread

Postby bels » Wed Jan 08, 2014 2:11 pm

Take your time dobwin.

I got a similar text and have a similar meeting in a couple minutes.
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